retarded for mustard

get fuzzy

2010-06-11T13:46:00.000-07:00

trendspotting: pretzels and mustard

2010-05-27T14:42:00.000-07:00

hey fans!

seems like pretzels and mustard are "the" thing lately . check out this sick new york times article.

obviously, we all knew about mustard and pretzels way long ago but it's nice to see the rest of the world catchin' up!!

When people say they don't like mustard, alarms sound in my head: Not to be trusted.

2009-10-27T11:20:00.000-07:00

A great post, courtesy of Sweet Honey Mustard Porcelli, from the folks at the Serious Eats blog. They tried 39 mustards in one sitting and I, for one, am inspired.

As a mustard scholar, I gotta say - some pretty spot on assessments here. The Whole Foods 365 line - hey, I love your dish soap, maybe even your salsa, but your mustard? It's the pits! I have a jar of "German" 365 mustard that I bought assuming it would be decent but now only keep for DIRE mustard emergencies. It never really does the trick. The Kosciusko spicy brown IS the best and I'll even admit that when I think of myself as Spicy Brown, this is the jar I imagine being.

Who wants to bring me a pretzel at work? Tummy is grumblin'.

the co untry's real birthday

2008-04-24T14:01:00.000-07:00

saturday is NATIONAL pretzel day. for three FREE pretzels, go to your local philly soft pretzel factory location!

truer words

2008-04-01T11:08:00.001-07:00

a spicy debate

2008-02-15T09:54:00.001-08:00

from today's ny times:

A Condiments Clarification

By Frank Bruni

Tags: delis

Some of the e-mails I get from readers — e-mails that come through channels different from this blog — are too delicious not to share, and the following one fits that bill.

After offering some kind words about my review of the Second Avenue Deli, the reader admitted to being disturbed by my statement in the piece that “I wasn’t much for mustard.”

The reader went on: “Is this with respect to pastrami only or does your indifference to the king of condiments apply to all foods? Either way, this is not good. You are one of the nation’s most influential palates and it is shocking to learn that you might be condimentally challenged.”

“Mustard has a long and revered history,” the reader continued. “Shakespeare wrote about mustard in several of his plays. Louis XI never traveled without the royal mustard pot nearby. As curator of the Mount Horeb Mustard Museum (home of the world’s largest collection of mustards and mustard memorabilia), I urge you to seek condiment counseling at once.”

“ I would be happy to treat you,” the reader added, “should you decide to make the pilgrimage to Mount Horeb, Wisconsin, where ketchup and mayo are not permitted on village streets during daylight hours.

“Condimentally yours, Barry Levenson, Curator and CMO (Chief Mustard Officer), Mount Horeb Mustard Museum, 100 West Main Street, Mount Horeb, Wisconsin.”

Several things: the museum is no joke. I Googled it, and found the web site to which I provided the above link. And if you have five to 10 minutes to giggle about — and revel in — humankind’s ability to turn anything and everything into a kitschy obsession and object of wordplay, I urge you to visit it.

I was particularly amused to learn that “visitors to the Museum are admitted free to the famed Mustard Piece Theatre, where engaging titles such as ‘Mustard, the Spice of Nations’ are shown daily on the mammoth big screen TV.”

On the subject of mustard — “king of condiments,” condiment of kings, recipient of its very own museum (do ketchup and mayo have such shrines?) — I would like to be clearer than I was in the review.

I am not “much for mustard” on a pastrami sandwich. And that’s merely because I love the fattiness, spiciness and smokiness of good pastrami to the point where I don’t want anything extra competing with my enjoyment of that.

When it comes to hot dogs, I’m all about mustard, so much so that I reflexively cringe when I see someone put ketchup on a hot dog. Kids do this all the time. My nephews and nieces do this. It’s a reminder that they still have many years and many meals before they evolve into fully formed human beings. When I see a bright yellow smear on one of their hot dogs, I’ll know they’ve come of age, and I’ll probably get a little weepy.

As I said in the review, condiments are personal, and I don’t think any of us should ever be ashamed of our condiment orientations. We should own up to them, say them loud and proud, maybe even dedicate parades — if not museums — to them.

I’ll end this post with a question. Mr. Levenson, put your hand down. You aren’t allowed to participate — yet — because you hold an advantage and have made clear that you possess this knowledge already. I’ll write or call you in a few days to obtain the information if readers don’t come through.

OK, here goes: Can you name the plays in which Shakespeare (apparently) wrote about mustard?

And, I ask you, was there any — any — mention of putting it on pastrami?

career path

2008-01-16T08:12:00.001-08:00

please take me. please!

mustardayonnaise

2008-01-16T07:50:00.000-08:00

hot mustard sauce

2007-07-09T19:12:00.000-07:00

it was just my birthday; gimme some.

i'll give you beetle mustard in return.

i can't sleep 'cause my bed's on fire

2007-05-07T21:17:00.000-07:00

after boldly telling my friends i wouldn't be getting drunk one saturday (no one believed me), i proceeded to do about 4 citywides and drink at least 4 more beers over the course of an evening. though i'm left with little recollection of anything beyond the arrival at an afterparty, i do remember my intense drunken craving for mustard. in fact, i'll admit that i probably left the party to go get some mustard. i thought i was sooooo coooool: "i don't even need bread anymore; i'll eat that shit right off the spoon."

oh, how'd i'd regret my tough-as-nails attitude. it turns out i DO need bread. AND i need to use a smaller spoon. i woke up at 3p.m. (post-mustard) to find mustard everywhere. i was drowning in it. it was on my face, on my pillow, crusted onto my blanket, and coagulating on a seemingly microwaved (seriously? i was so drunk i couldn't wait for the toaster?) pita that lay on a plate by my bedside, too embarrassed to be seen with me. the mustard was smeared all over the pita, a trail of greenish yellow creeping up the side of my bed, the result of my criminally blatant disregard for the pita that could've saved my pride.

and my sunday. since the whole right side of my bed (aka MY side) was doused in mustard-remover, i was forced to sleep of my hangover on the left side. still, it was better than the time i woke up with barf on my pillow. what a waste of mustard THAT was...

UPDATE: three days later, when paying for a swedish fish at wawa, i noticed that the quarter i handed over was covered in mustard. i think that was the last of it, though.

better than your birthday

2007-04-26T11:07:00.000-07:00

it's national soft pretzel day. celebrate with your favorite mustard!

le moutarde

2007-04-23T10:46:00.000-07:00

Here is a new French('s???) band we should all like b/c they are mustard-related:

mustarded believes in romance

2007-02-21T10:45:00.000-08:00

ah, young mustard love.

best costume ever

2007-02-16T08:50:00.000-08:00

not a huge heinz fan but this is pretty amazing

NO WAY

2007-02-16T08:41:00.000-08:00

There is a mustard MUSEUM in Wisconsin. Road trip, plz??

Also, please note that it's just come to mustarded's attention that it's National Mustard day on August 4, 2007. Mark your calendars - this year is going to be extra spicy.

Can honey mustard be bad?

2007-01-23T10:06:00.000-08:00

Follow me on this one:

I know honey mustard can be really, really good - e.g. my personal favorite is from George's Roasters and Ribs in Princeton. Given ownership history and similar serving receptacle and gustatory awesomeness, it very well might be the same honey mustard served 2 stores down at Hoagie Haven as well. Continuing on this tangent just a tad more: some acquaintances in high school swore by this recipe: go get an order of General Tso's Chicken from Tiger Noodle up the street, then throw down some quarters for some little plastic containers of honey mustard from Georges. Dip, eat, repeat.

OK, that said, I just consumed what mustardheadz would likely assume to be the "unspeakable" caste of honey mustard: Hellman's. I dipped some grilled chicken from the kitchen at work into the Hellman's honey mustard. It was delicious. Then I dipped some potato chips in (why not?). They were delicious too.

And so, fellow mustardologists, I ask you: have you ever had bad honey mustard?

Until,
KT aka Bleedz (Mustard) Seedz

what'll they think of next?

2007-01-14T19:31:00.000-08:00

mark your calendars, fellow mustard lovers

july is the cruelest month

2007-01-14T18:55:00.001-08:00

if you're sad and love mustard, i'm your lady.